Manoj Shivanand, 43, of Manchester was charged with public indecency and assault for yelling obscenities and shaking a woman by the shoulders in an elevator. He was later released after the plaintiff dropped all charges. Manoj, a die hard cricket fan who idolizes Sachin Tendulkar, believed Ms Sarah Voegler was mocking his idol’s trademark mannerism during the 15 minute ride in an elevator.
“It is his one weakness and people can only pick on him for that. Just this morning one of my friends was making fun of him for that only. I was sure she heard it and wanted to tease me because of it” he said in anguish. “There were four of us in the elevator, but only after the other two left did she start, so naturally I assumed she was making fun of him. Yes she did not look me in the face, but that is a different way, acting nonchalantly while doing something quite ridiculous, I have seen Borat and Bruno so I am very well familiar with it.”
Does he think there is a race angle? “Yes, of course, would she have done that if I was not an Indian? Do you think she would have started shouting at the wall to mock John McEnroe if a white American man had entered the elevator?” he charged furiously. “The fact that she herself specifically dropped the charges proves this.”
Ms Voegler, 37, an exotic dancer who suffers from chronic vaginal flatulence, had a different version of events. “I was trying so hard to control myself while there were many people in the elevator, but I had to adjust my undergarments – I was wearing latex, you know, for the party – at that exact moment because the pressure was incredible. I understand that this might have affected Manoj, because men are very sensitive about this particular condition. That was why I dropped the charges, I didn’t want this to get out of hand” said a visibly embarrassed Ms Voegler.
Does she believe Manoj invented the story about his cricketing hero? “Well he certainly seems very passionate about that man, so I honestly can’t tell. Personally I do think its strange that a man should have to, you know, keep doing that during a game, I mean bikers seem to be able to ride hundreds of miles just fine without having to adjust their, you know, cup. I think it must have been a cultural misunderstanding, maybe where Manoj comes from it is highly disrespectful or inappropriate for a woman to act this way. While he has to understand that outside his country he cannot treat people this way, I wanted to show him some of our country’s hospitality and tolerance by dropping the charges, since this is a slightly unusual case.”
But not everyone believes this is a case of cultural misunderstanding. Paul Thornton, one of Manoj’s a long time associates thinks the cricket fan is too sensitive. “He is a bit of a loony, a nutjob as they would say, when it comes to Sachin. He was convinced that there was a conspiracy that involved Pakistan, Arab sheiks and record companies to defame the great man. He often spoke about wanting to fly down to Los Angeles to file a suit against Michael Jackson, whom he claimed suspiciously came up with the crotch grabs after Sachin’s debut. He’s a swell guy apart from that and even arranges for tickets to games for everyone in our department.” Short of a Length was unable to reach Sachin Tendulkar to get his views on the matter.
Mr Shivanand believes Michael Jackson was part of a Middle East conspiracy to defame Sachin Tendulkar
No comments:
Post a Comment